Three to Tango
by carlymayxox
Summary: Things have been heating up with Cartman and Kyle. But that all changes when Cartman finds out about Kyle's new girlfriend. Mild slash to come
1. And The Chunks Will Fly!

Three to Tango…

Part 1: And The Chunks Will Fly!

Stan POV

_Shit!_

I smashed the alarm button at my bedside table and looked at the clock.

_12 o' clock, better get to school? Nah, fuck it, might as well just call it sick._

I stumbled out of bed and slowly walked to the bathroom. I turned the shower knob and pulled my boxers down. As they dropped to my feet, I stepped out of them and kicked them behind me. I stepped into the steam-engulfed porcelain cubicle and closed the curtain. I reached for the shampoo bottle and fixated a palm-sized glob into my shaggy raven hair. I swear I heard the phone ring, probably the school anyway. I turned off the shower and went back to my room. I slipped on some clean clothes and started downstairs.

I checked the call display, Kyle had called. I guess he had skipped too, I redialed his number. Kyle answered, his voice seemed welcoming.

Hello?

He chirped.

Hey, it's Stan.

I could hear something in the background. Maybe he was at Shakey's or something. He DID call from his cell phone.

Hey, can you come meet me? It's really important.

I could tell something was going on because I knew Kyle better than anyone, and I could tell he was at a breaking point. On a scale of 1-10, this was about an 8, still pretty bad. I left as soon as I could. I slipped on my brown windbreaker and headed down to Shakey's.

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Kyle POV

_Damn good wings! He's STILL staring at me! Do I have something on my face? Better not wipe it, just in case I look stupid. Where's Stan already? Hmmm… come to think of it, he is kinda cute… the way his hair curls over his eyes and- SNAP OUT OF IT! You like girls! We should have gone to Raisins! Make an excuse, say you have to go to the washroom… _

I got up, only to feel his hand clasping on my ass.

Where you goin?

_He asked that in a bit of a… provocative tone._

Washroom, be right back.

I sighed with relief, but kinda smiled underneath it all. I washed my hands and grabbed some paper towel.

_Why is he still on my mind? Where is Stan? I can't take this; it's getting to be really awkward! I'm actually starting to really notice fatass lately…_

I walked out of the washroom, _good, Stan's there. It was starting to get really weird before._

I walked over. Stan directed his gaze towards me as I tapped his shoulder lightly.

Can I talk to you Stan?

I pulled him away from the table as fast as I could.

Stan?

Yeah?

Have you noticed he's been a little…strange lately?

Yeah, a little, what's up with that?

I dunno, he was staring at me earlier and he's been fondling my ass! The stranger thing

is, I kinda like it. Is that so wrong?

Well Kyle, I just want you to know that whatever goes on, you're still my best friend.

Thanks Stan, we better get back to the table before he comes looking for us.

Yeah.

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Eric POV

_Where are those guys? Did they forget I'm here? Kyle, get your hot jew ass back here. Wow, he's such a babe. Stan's not that bad himself. I wonder if they've figured it out yet? How I feel and all? Nah, they're clueless. He didn't eat his chicken skin! Hmmm, maybe he left it for me? Oh… here they come…look at that red hair. Like flaming spun silk! Come on Eric, act natural…_

Hey guys!

_Why are they looking at me like that?_

Cartman, are you okay?

_What? Am I okay? They know…_

It was the pants, wasn't it?

What do you mean fatass?

_Maybe they're just playing dumb to act like they don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Touché._

Fatass?! CARTMAN! What's going on? Are you sick or something?

_Yeah, like you guys care. I hope Kyle does. You don't just give away chicken skin like that on the street corner!_

You ate my chicken, didn't you?

I did, why?

Something was a little off, they were good but-

_Just shut up and kiss me jew! What's he even saying? Who cares, it sounds beautiful. _

Cartman! Are you listening?

_No Stan, I'm busy looking at Kyle, could you NOT interrupt?! _

He's hopeless Kyle. Let's just go…

NO YOU GUYS, STAY!

Fine, we'll stay, IF you tell us what's been up with you lately.

_They DID notice! It WAS the pants. Just wing it. Say it's… the bad chicken? No! Tried that already. Shit! He looks great when he's mad. What a babe!_

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Stan POV

I stared at him and narrowed my brow.

COME ON CARTMAN!

_He's gotta snap sooner or later…_

I frowned, considering he was in love with my best friend. I started wondering what he might have thought of me.

_Obviously not that much, considering he had his eyes on Kyle the whole time…_

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Eric POV

_Think Eric, think. All this thinking is making me nauseous…I don't know what to say… If I tell Kyle I love him then… Well, it could be the only excuse I've got considering I can't think of anything else. I guess it's worth a try… But what if he laughs? What if STAN laughs? They'll make fun of me forever… Here comes that nausea again. Might as well just do it and get it over with. If they hate me, at least I didn't pussy out… Okay, here goes…_

Kyle I-

Everything went quiet… I gagged on my own words as a huge warm wave came blasting out of my mouth.

_A perfect moment, ruined. Stupid chicken! I could have done it! I almost did. But I guess it just wasn't meant to be right now… oh great. Everyone's looking…AND IT'S ALL OVER KYLE TOO! Oh no, what am I gonna do? He'll hate me, he'll ha-_

Kyle just stood there with a look on his face. Silence struck the three of us as people rushed over to help cleaned him off. Stan didn't say a word to me until Kyle went to get cleaned off. It was over. I fucked it all up… Stan looked at me and tried to smile. I felt a little better, but I still felt horrible about what happened. I got up and just ran out of there. Too embarrassed to even look back… No one followed me.


	2. And The Chunks Will Fly! continued

Three to Tango…

Part 1 (continued): And The Chunks Will Fly!

Kyle POV

_Eww. This kinda sucks. I know I shouldn't have ordered the chicken, but Cartman loves it! There I go, thinking of him again…I feel really bad though. He was humiliated in front of everyone. Well, so was I… but I wasn't the one who actually threw up… When this is over, I should go see if he's okay. No one seemed to do that. I wonder what Stan's doing about it? I'm not sure. Maybe I should go back and see them…_

I walked back to Shakey's after a change and a shower. I was surprised to see Stan sitting there…WITH A GIRL! I wondered who she was, maybe just a random girl who walked in and he just happened to catch her eye? I walked over to the table.

Stan!

Hey Kyle, this is Jen.

Hey Jen.

Hello…?

Kyle.

Oh. Hello Kyle.

Hey, nice to meet you. Anyways, where's Cartman?

He ran out after you left. He seemed upset.

Do you know where he went?

Home probably, or Stark's Pond.

_He won't stop looking at Jen. She's not that bad, but she's not my type either. Well, I'm happy for Stan. He's finally gotten over Wendy. I better go find Cartman. He must feel pretty shitty after all that. What if he thinks I hate him?! Oh fuck, I gotta find him right now!_

Anyways, I'm gonna go find him. I'll catch you guys later. Nice meeting you Jen!

You too. Hee hee.

Bye Kyle!

Later Stan!

I walked down the long, curvy path towards Stark's Pond. It seemed so long all of a sudden. Maybe I just had a lot to think about. Usually I'd be walking there with a girl or the guys. I looked around, but I didn't see Cartman anywhere. All of a sudden, the bush rustled.

Who's there? Is it you Kyle?

Yes, it's me.

Come here for a minute.

_Jeez. I hope that's him. It didn't sound like it. But I better check just to be sure. His voice sounds a little congested. Has he been crying? Oh no, I feel horrible now._

It was Cartman. He was crouched behind the bush. I sat down beside him. He sighed as I spoke.

I'm sorry about what happened. You didn't deserve any of that.

I did! I ate the chicken!

It's okay. It's just chicken! I got it for you anyway.

Really?

Yeah. I knew you liked chicken, especially the skin.

All of a sudden I could feel something come over me… I was falling in love with him! I didn't know what to do about it though…

Hey, hey Kyle…

_Oh. What should I do? I have feelings for him. I gotta act fast..._

Shh. Don't talk…

I quickly put a finger over his mouth and pulled him a little bit closer.

_I'm gonna do it!_

K-kyle… what are you-

I did it right then and there. I pressed my lips softly against his. I didn't want to let go either. I kissed him for a little bit longer and then pulled away to see his shocked face. My heartbeat was racing and I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach…

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Eric POV

_I can't believe he just beat me to the punch. I liked it though. It was warm and delicate. I want him to do it again. I want him to do it a hundred times._

We sat there for a while. I just held him in my arms and looked down at him. He had his head against my chest. I was in my right place.

Hey… I can hear your heartbeat.

_Yeah. It's saying your name over and over again. I love you Kyle. You need to know that. I won't tell you now but someday I will. When it's the right time. _

We watched the sun go down together. And then we gazed up at the stars. I didn't know anything about that sort of thing, but Kyle did. He showed me all the constellations in view. It was beautiful… but then, his phone rang. I listened to him answer it.

Hello? Oh, hey baby… no, I'm not doing anything important right now. Why? You wanna do something?

_Baby! Not doing anything important?! So all of a sudden, I'm not important? And he's gonna leave me… for, whoever that is… Oh, he's hanging up._

Anyways. Where were we?

I didn't want to even talk to him. I got up of the ground and grabbed my jacket.

You know, you're SUCH a jew sometimes.

I ran as fast as I could. Away from Stark's Pond, away from Kyle. I just kept running. He was chasing after me… I was tiring out.

_Awww, damn it. He caught up!_

What did I do Cartman?

WHO WAS THAT ON THE PHONE JUST NOW KYLE?!

Tears pooled in my eyes, enough to blur my vision of him. I didn't want to look at him anyways.

It was… well. I have a girlfriend Cartman. I thought you knew?

No one ever told me that? Who is she…?

Debbie…

AS IN, the girl who served us at Shakey's, Debbie?

Yea, her. I didn't want to say anything in front of you…

_Who gave a shit if he did? The damage would have been done anyways. Why did he even kiss me? God knows. Maybe he just felt bad for me because he knew it was what I wanted? Well, it's no use now…_

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Kyle POV

_I can't believe all that just happened. Why did she have to call and ruin it?_

Cartman! You made me realize. I don't love Debbie as much as I thought I did. And tonight I showed you that!

_I kissed him didn't I? I mean, I haven't been dating Debbie for that long. Maybe a week?_

He mocked my voice…

Oooh. I'm Kyleee. I kissed Cartman and cheated on Debbieee. But Debbie doesn't matter… I'm just going out with her because she puts out and it won't make me seem as gayyy.

_Oh shit. He's making this harder than it actually is! Should I tell him now? I think I should…_

DUDE! I… love you Cartman!

Wha?

I said… I love you…


End file.
